Yes, you read that title correctly! There are reasons to LOVE being a single mom. The consensus is in. Single mothers across the country have been polled about what they like about parenting solo. Sure, we all know that it’s one of the hardest jobs in the world. But, lets focus on the positive, shall we? And, while we’re at it, lets have a laugh. Life’s too short and getting too serious these days. Sure, most of us didn’t choose this path, but while we’re on it, let’s acknowledge the perks. (And did I say have a laugh too??) Enjoy ladies (and brave men) and just note these thoughts represent the contributions of MANY women out there, but I’d love to hear from you, too! … Especially if you can make me chuckle.
- It’s now My house, my rules. Rough day? Waffles for dinner is just fine. Exhausted? The dishes, laundry and toys can pile up for one night.
- No more scary stubble in the sink.
- No more sticky, smelly, sweaty gym clothes to be picked up off the bathroom floor. (Unless, of course, they’re yours!)
- No more manic 5 p.m. de-motherfying. Don’t know what that is? A rush to shower, shave, change out of sweats and “de-motherfy” yourself every evening before a discerning man comes home—who ironically only notices when you don’t do all of the said above.
- No need to hold in that belly 24/7!
- There is no one in the house to make you feel like an incompetent person.
(It’s funny how many women commented that their husbands criticized them for not being capable or put them down for being a SAHM—yet parenting alone, they have never felt more accomplished.)
- It sinks in you ARE a super woman. After a year or so parenting solo, it sinks in that we are capable. We take out the trash, fix heaters and toilets, paint, move furniture, weld power tools, get the car washed: ALL ON OUR OWN. We manage budgets (even small ones), kids’ schedules, education and our own career and health needs. Phew!)
- You get to watch what you want on TV. No more wrestling or mafia movies! (Well, unless you turn on that mafia movie starring your favorite sexy Italian actor.)
- There’s no one to scold you for letting the kids come into the family bed. (And it’s oh, so yummy when you all fall asleep together after watching a silly movie!)
- You can sing and dance and be goofy with an audience that joins in!
- You are more present with your kids and more focussed on their needs without the stress of constant criticism and arguments. (For some, this happened after the divorce became final and the fighting finally ceased.)
- You can get a cat, fish, a parakeet, a chinchilla—or any other creature you can manage to take care of, as your kids need more unconditional love in the house. (And who is going to stop you?)
- You can take a bubble bath, wear a mask and do your nails at 8:30 p.m. on a weekday after the kids are in bed. Why? Because you are no longer a short-order cook for the late arrival, or a career coach and therapist, or evening maid required to do laundry and clean the kitchen while said late arrival watches sports or a crime drama on TV.
- You no longer have to pretend to be asleep when you hear the door open at midnight. (This is usually from hubby coming home after an unscheduled, but “critical” business drinks meet-up. Of course, you learned about this event at 6 p.m. with spit-up on your shoulder, an older child screaming in the corner and dinner on the stove.)
- No more ‘couples with kids’ dinners to endure.
(Come on, you know exactly what this is. Some friends with kids your age invite you to a family-friendly restaurant for Saturday early dinner or Sunday brunch. You dress up and go through the effort to get the kids looking marvelous—only to find yourself, yet again, having a frustrating, work-filled evening. You and the other mom try to catch up, but keep getting interrupted since you two are managing all the kids’ tantrums and antics and diaper changes during dinner. Where are the fathers? The two hubbies are at the other end of the table drinking brews and having a civilized adult conversation with no interruptions. Your late husband had NO idea why you weren’t interested in sex AT ALL later in the evening.)
- No more waiting for a blue moon to go out on a date.
- You no longer live with the fear of being cheated on.
- You no longer live with someone who churns an internal daily struggle for you to preserve your identity. (The constant pressure to change or view the world differently has lifted.)
- You no longer live with a man who treats his mother (who never liked you) and his buddies better than he treats you.
- You are allowed to buy chocolate at will.
- Alcohol is no longer an every day facet of your family life. (In fact, some moms reported throwing out the liquor cabinets and beer coolers after their exes left.)
- There is no one home to poke fun at you when you want to meditate, do a yoga dvd, write in a journal or read self-help or philosophy books.
- No more staying awake listening to snoring.
- No more smelling alcohol on the breath of the person sleeping next to you.
- You no longer have to justify what you buy. If you can afford to splurge on a toy for the kids, or a new pair of shoes for yourself: you can do so without having to render a tail-between-the-legs explanation later.
- $#!T you should never say to a single mom (wealthysinglemommy.com)
Love it!!! I was grinning ear to ear as I went down the list. I already loved being a single mom, but this reaffirmed it!! Thanks for sharing!
So glad to hear that Sarah!
Thanks so much!
I like the positive aspect. I have a couple to add. 1) it is way easier to live and eat healthy being single. My ex would critize my chocolate indulgences but then cook using a ton of oil. I’m in complete control of the food that comes in my house and I love that. 2) I have cleaner carpets (although not that clean w/ kids). My ex drank Guinness and he was good at spilling it all over the place.
You know, I tend to eat at an earlier hour and do cook less meat. Thanks for your additions!
I could have written this…… I saw myself in so many of these. Who knew I could be so wonderful after so many years of critical comments and unexplained dirty looks.
You are wonderful.
i am married and not even a mom yet but this sounds so appealing that i am scared!!!
Cherry, no need to be scared! 🙂 Maybe share the list with your hubby and be sure not to feel like you can empathize with it later! Thanks for reading!
Woot woot. People feel sorry for me because I’m a single mom. I’m like, I have NEVER had more time, more fun, or better self-esteem! Plus, you can date after the kids are in bed… Thanks for sharing.
i so agree I just got out of a 7 yr relationship and prior to that a 2 year marriage and im the happiest ive ever been im so independent and confident I just feel great and like you said you can still date but moving in and stuff just brings stress
Thanks Edita!! I’m so happy for you…This is such a silly post, isn’t it? But so true on many levels. Thanks so much for reading! Have a wonderful day. x
Anytime, thanks for reading! I can’t say that I definitely have more time (that is, free time when I’m not paying a sitter!) but I can see the light at the end of this tunnel and know I’m in the right direction.
I agree. Never felt so good my entire life. I actually have a life, my life. I wake everyday with a purpose and sleep hard at night because I have been going hard all day long. Yes, it’s hard, stressful, but so fulfilling. It’s like giving birth every day, pain and agony, but the joy comes after the labor.
Thanks Brooke! Your comment is so inspiring.
We are the lucky ones.
Thanx,am an encouraged single mom of five after my hubby died 3 years ago.I do not wish to be burdened with standards to meet for a man by remarrying.It is truly laborious being single but i love the freedom to do things my own way.
Thanks Elizabeth! I agree, I love the freedom to do things my own way too. Best of luck to you. L.
This is exactly how I feel. EX ACT LY.
Thank you Cori-Marie!!!!
Lots of love to you and thanks so much for reading! xo
Love it!! I admit I am struggling with a balance act between being a single mom and a full-time student but I have experienced all of the above! I was scared about leaving and being on my own but my child has flourished without all the fighting and criticisms. He gets my on on one attention and we get dance-parties when we want and waffles for supper 🙂 Plus, no one saying no when a certain someone sneaks in and wants to cuddle in the “Family Bed”
Wow, congrats on being a FT student and mom! You can do it.
And I love the family bed and dance parties. I guess the key is being true to ourselves and eventually, we’ll find someone who doesn’t mind the way we live and the choices we make…someone who will accept waffles for dinner when we’re tired. 🙂 But until then, staying single is a really good choice. Have a wonderful day!!! xo
I’m getting ready for it. I feel stronger and encouraged after reading your list. Thank you for this!
Awe Kelly, thanks for reading! I’m sending you strength. It’s surprising how strong we can be when tested. Take care ~ Laura x