Tag Archives: Time management

The Artists Guide to Finding Time

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I wear many hats, but my purpose in this lifetime is to write and to publish compelling stories with characters many would not pause to consider or feel compassion for—people on the fringe of society, whose inner light is rarely acknowledged. This is my passion. Yet it seems that all my other ‘work’ demands my primary focus. Intention plus Attention, Manifests. Yet most of my Attention, for years, has been drawn in too many directions. I am a single mom who has been raising her two boys solo for nine years. I am the author of three novels seeking representation, as I desire to publish traditionally. I am a freelance journalist who writes for magazines. I am a yoga teacher who has taken 5 yoga trainings and led a yoga and writers retreat in Greece, hoping to run more! My ex lives in Europe and I have no family help, so I have few weekends off to re-charge, and no help when a kid is sick or there is an emergency at school. I guess you can say I am a master juggler. Yesterday a friend told me she can’t find time or motivation to write/create her blog because she has too many demands, yet she has no children or full-time employment. Our demands, are our demands, however. What we focus on, grows. If we focus on fear and lack, we will scramble in too many distracted directions and lose our willpower.

I am finally mastering the balance and carving out more time to focus—even within my hectic schedule. Trust me, between school runs, lunches, dinners, homework, soccer games and practices, violin performances, Taekwondo, volunteer requests, yoga classes I teach, etc…My daily life can become a blinding, dizzying, depressing grind that used to relegate my passion for writing to a mere 30 minutes a day—and that was on good days! I’ve now cut out the major fat, the time-suckers and distractions and am working on my fourth novel. If I can find more time—trust me—you can too. I want to help. Here is the first of a five-part-series on how to find the time to create:

First, cut out ALL the distractions. By that, I mean, ALL SOCIAL MEDIA HAS TO GO. For a year. It’s been seven months of no social media for me in my first year cleanse. During this period, I finished my 3rd novel (click here for excerpt), edited it four times, attended a writers conference and submitted the novel to agents who are currently considering it. Also during that period, I taught yoga classes, helped manage a studio, worked with private clients, attended a meditation retreat, raised two humans by myself and dealt with health issues. If I had stayed on social media, I would have been sucked into its time-wasting trap—losing momentum, motivation and self confidence—while wasting valuable time better spent writing. Now I know all authors and artists need a “platform” to sell their art. But while you are still struggling to create & produce art and then garner an agent or deal, social media needs to go. Here’s why social media is not only a waste of time for budding artists and writers, but it actually makes us less creative, less authentic, and less productive:

  1. Social media thwarts momentum. Why? because it turns the focus outward and not inward. You may be half -way through that novel, or composition or mural, and suddenly you become overwhelmingly self-conscious and fearful and less sure, losing your drive to move forward. We lose our ability to connect deeply to our core and hear our intuition (the birth place of creativity) and our desires, when we focus on others: on what they are doing, how they are doing it and and on how others feel about us and what we do. To create, we need to turn inward, tap into our inner power, our inner passion, our inner purpose and JAM.
  2. Social media drains our Motivation and lessens our Gratitude—which can spur bad habits that actually suck more time away from our projects becoming successful. Looking at what others are doing, can thwart us from realizing our dreams and we can become filled with thoughts like:  Maybe I should be going out more? Those drink looks good, I need a happy hour. I need to have a spa day, why don’t I get to have a spa day? I love her dress and shoes, I haven’t had a new outfit in years. etc etc. Yes we all need balance, but spending more, getting hung-over, or spending money we don’t have or time with negative friends, will NOT help.
  3. Social media lowers self-confidence by comparing our lives and our projects with others. This is an expansion of the last point. Artists often live with less before they are published or discovered. If we compare our lives by what we have or own and are constantly filling our minds with visions from Instagram or Facebook of ‘friends’ new houses, new cars, new relationships we can develop thoughts of fear and lack, that dissuade us thinking in affirmative powerful ways that manifest. Thoughts like: I should be doing more. Or I’m not as good as him. Or I need to focus on money-making projects or pick up more part-time work in order to get a date like his. etc …
  4. Studies have shown that even a mere 20 minutes of social media photo sharing or scrolling increases anxiety, depression and feelings of lack. Studies proved social media lowers self-esteem and it creates disrupted sleep patterns (likely from light erupting from a phone by the bed). One study says that not only does social media foster addiction, but it re-wires the brain to become more addictive and reactive in general. All thwart inspiration to create authentically and powerfully.
  5. The more time we spend on social media, the less we take ourselves and our art and our passions seriously. Sure, you may post a pic of yourself painting or writing, and love the 100 likes you receive, but are you really delving into the project for hours, connecting to your inner voice, inner guides and moving forward in a powerful way? Answer this truthfully.

So, my advice, drop the Instagram, SnapChat, Facebook for a year and gain back the two—or more hours a day—to focus on your art, your potential, your inner fire.

Next installment covers what to replace those two hours with. SO GOOD.

Have a beautiful day!

If you liked this article, you may be interested in:

Is Social Media Bad for You? BBC, January 2018

 

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Eight Days OFF Social Media

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So, it’s been eight days since my 15-year-old son and I quit our social media addictions. For my high schooler, the cons have been not knowing what his buds are doing and being off snap chat and being outside the inside jokes. He switched his snap chat addiction for more youtube video watching, on topics such as saving and investing or on relationships. Hmmm. For me, there really hasn’t been a down side. Isn’t that amazing? Last weekend I edited all of my chapters of Between Thoughts of You, my favorite novel out of the three I’ve written. Sounds arrogant to say that, and I’m not claiming to be the next Hemingway, I just adore my main characters. I L O V E them so much. Lulu feels like the woman I want to be and the old man she cares for, the grandfather relationship I never had (both my grandfathers died before I met them.) Plus, the culture of Hawaii and all the history I researched makes me excited to go back. So, there’s that. AND, I’m teaching more yoga classes and working more at the studio so I feel more present and grounded. I had an awesome class last Friday night (happy hot hour @ 5:45 p.m. my new one) then met up with one of my best friends from college who was having a birthday party. And no one saw any pics! (Gasp!) I didn’t worry about whether any of us were photo worthy, looking good, or showing we were having fun. I’m clearly more in the moment, except when I’m writing, and then my mind is traveling through my characters to Italy, New York, Japan or Hawaii…but I’m not telling more than that at the moment! LOL

So, even though my life is pretty much the same, I’m more focussed, centered and less in my Ego. I’m more present. I’m not concerned about whether the pace of my life is moving too slow or whether I ‘should’ be having more fun or doing more, or seeing what friends are doing that I’m not. Right now, it’s boys, yoga & writing … every damn day. Sprinkled in between are the laughs, the phone calls or texts, rather than instagram or facebook likes or comments, and in-person connections that I’m excited about. 🙂 No comparisons. No drive to get ‘likes,’ which are never a substitute for off-line attention, appreciation or conversation, right? If someone really cares, they’ll reach out. Period. I also haven’t been distracted by my feed and prevented from doing what needs to get done. As a full-time single mother juggling work and kiddo activities, getting sucked into social media means less time to take care of me or this house or the boys. I even got the carpets cleaned—no more gross stains! And hired a handyman and squeezed in some fun posting a picture and seeing who approved of it. Here’s to more offline productivity and mindful fun. I’m teaching an extra class tonight and ordering dinner instead of cooking and cleaning. Not a bad deal.

Life is Good offline this first week.

Love, Light, Fun & Balance ~

L. x

Multi-tasking + Stress = American Way

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Is Mindfulness Realistic?

Is a mindful way of life actually possible for most of us—especially those in the business world? Can we really achieve mindfulness in today’s American society? Think about it. We are obsessed with multi-tasking and our devices that let us ‘stay on’ 24/7. On top of that, we keep pilling more onto our schedules (since, of course, we can handle more at one time now). Combine that with extra pressure and longer hours at work (See ABC News’ “Americans Work More Than Anyone”) and more stress with shortened fuses on the road and there you have it: a cocktail that completely erodes your 15 minutes of mindfulness meditation. Or so it would seem to me.

But maybe I’ve got it all wrong? I’d love some input from any of you out there as I’m at a complete loss. Unless I’m in the jungle (where I found myself a week ago!) or on an island without wifi and electricity, I doubt that I can stop my multi-tasking addiction—and I’m just a mere freelance writer and mom. How the hell do executives learn how to put the devices down and connect fully with loved ones when the work day just never seems to end?

I must admit that I’m a bit surprised by my skepticism as I’m the perfect candidate and proponent for mindfulness. I’m a yoga enthusiast and Deepak Chopra lover. Yet, I look around me—especially when at a business conference or with other journalists on deadline—and I wonder HOW can we be more mindful when stretched to the limits with multiple demands—sometimes needing to be met simultaneously.

A few months ago, I interviewed Janice Marturano, founder of The Institute for Mindful Leadership, who left the corporate world behind in order to consult executives on how to become more mindful. In our interview entitled “If Mindfulness can Transform CEOS … Imagine How It Can Help You?!” Janice explained how she works with executives and managers to help them slow down and focus on what’s in front of them. She does this through teaching them how to meditate, ideally, 3 times a day. At the time of our interview, after also seeing how much she helped my brother, I was a huge supporter. I still am a huge supporter of what she is doing. Now that my toes are back in the business world, however, I’m getting a taste of the stress and the “pressure to be on” and I see how hard it is to be mindful in this environment. If you’ve ever been to a board meeting or in the audience of a keynote speaker at a conference, than I don’t need to tell you about the hundreds of blackberries and iphones in the laps of attendees who are multi-tasking by texting, emailing, or reading assignments. CEOs of the household are just as easily distracted. Go to a park or library, and likely you’ll see a mom or dad glued to his/her iphone while the kiddos are on their own. Again, it’s the American Way.

And I write this with a bit of irony. I’ve been away from NavigatingVita for a month. During that time, I’ve juggled business writing and children’s schedules and illnesses—while stressing out about both. Somehow I managed to catapult myself away for a week to the southern most jungle of Costa Rica. While there, even though I had access to wifi at a main eco-lodge, I decided to cut the phone off. I left instructions to call a friend if there was an emergency with the kiddos and decided to brave being on my own without emails, texts, calls. (I was only away for a week, I could handle it right?.) At first, when watching some friends upload pictures on Facebook, or get basketball scores during our communal dinners at the lodge with wifi, I got a twinge of jealousy. After a few days of device detox, however, I found myself more engaged in my world than I have been in a long time. I held my attention and listened deeply when others talked. I looked around me—all the time.  Of course, being in the jungle, demands mindful attention to avoid scorpions, lizards or crabs on your path. But when I looked up, I’d sometimes see monkeys swinging, blue butterflies, parrots, wild orchids and iguanas in the trees. I found myself looking around with wonder. I no longer wanted to check email or basketball scores. Twice during the week, I went back up to the eco-lodge with wifi and called my boys via skype to check in. I never turned on my phone, I used a friend’s computer. That was my only “connection” with the outside world. I lived. I thrived. I thought I was cured of my addiction. How wrong I was.

Before I left for Costa Rica, I read two New York Times articles that I cut out to interview experts about for Navigating Vita. They touched a chord when reading them three weeks ago, and my time in the jungle re-inforced their importance. The first by Barbara L. Fredrickson is called Your Phone Vs. Your Heart. It shows, clearly, how children suffer from a lack of eye contact when parents are constantly looking at their phones and not paying attention. The second, is by Alina Tugend: In Mindfulness, a Method to Sharpen Focus and Open Minds, where Alina spends time with experts, including Janice Marturano, to learn how to meditate.

What I thought about both articles, before I left for Costa Rica, pales in comparison to what I’ve learned upon my return. In Costa Rica, an environment that encourages mindful awareness and making appointments with wifi locations to communicate, I let go of my phone addiction. Sure, I was on vacation, but even when I’m not working, I usually tend to over-check the phone. I embraced being in the moment and made a silent vow to write this blog post as one that showed my success at tackling this distracted addiction of mine that most in Americans share. Well, I came back with multiple stories due, meetings to attend, taxes, sick boys, etc. And I found that being back in my old environment with multiple demands, I instantly fell back to my old habits. Sure, I still tried to meditate every day, and managed to squeeze in yoga twice, but it didn’t stop me from texting or calling someone while in the car. I raced back and forth from appointments or kids school or sport functions—all the time clinging to my phone, in case as a client or colleague or even a friend needed to reach me. Just doing that, made me think about those possible needs, instead of listening to my children. I’d worry about an assignment and say, “Sure,” or “Ahuh” absently to something that my four-year-old said.

Who suffers from this sort of distraction? Me. And my boys. I remember when interviewing Janice, that she advised me to turn off my racing mind and actually enjoy the moment—whatever moment—I found myself in. So instead of bringing my business meeting into my shower or my car ride, I need to shut off, and enjoy the ride with the kiddos or the warm water of the shower. By not stressing about all the ins and outs, and being more present, we can all be more productive later. Think about the manager who actually cuts off the phone and listens intently during a meeting, verses the manager who keeps looking at his blackberry or the clock when you’re talking.

I get it. I’m just not living it during times of pressure. Maybe there’s an app for that? 🙂 I know … But seriously. Maybe during my most hectic points of the day, I could set a mindfulness alarm on my phone. “Time to be mindful, Laura” could go off when I’m typically in the car with my boys, for instance.  Or maybe: “This is your mindfulness moment. Turn off the phone” could go off just before dinner, bath and books time in the evening, so I can give my boys my undivided attention.

Just an idea. Have any others? Clearly, I could use the help!