Tag Archives: staying positive during divorce

Sprouting Anew

I’ve always been obsessed with trees. They have a spiritual connection for me that I can’t really explain. As a little girl, I used to walk through the horse trails on the farm and then just sit beneath the pine trees, under their canopy, and listen to the wind, wait for deer to appear, and feel safe. I painted pine trees when I was older too, and love looking up into the sky beneath the canopy of leaves of any sort.  I even meditate often with the imagery of a tree in mind. I breathe in all the ego-driven fears I’m wrestling with such as feelings of anger, anxiety, jealousy, pity, etc. and imagine breathing them up from my roots of my being and having them lift up through my body and out of my head into the lightness. I exhale it there for the universe to take care of. When I breathe in, I inhale lightness, joy and peace and let it flow like lightning through my limbs, my core, and down to my toes to land into the earth where I’m planted—where I can utilize it again when necessary. I do this for five minutes, or try to! It’s hard to be still isn’t it? (I highly recommend trying this exercise for a week to see if it helps you with any anxiety.)

Well, when one of my sisters sent me this message last week, I had to save it. I love the imagery and adore our California Redwoods. It’s perfect for those of us going through a divorce who may be wrestling with sprouting anew. I hope this brings some inspiration your way! Thanks Sarah!

“Coastal redwoods are the planet’s most enduring lifework. A fallen coastal redwood will sprout anew within three weeks. Small trees can endure more than 400 years beneath a closed forest canopy without losing their ability to grow rapidly if and when that canopy is opened.

We can be like that, too. No matter how painful our life may have been, we always have the internal resources to heal and grow into happiness. We now have the strength, insight, and spiritual tools. This combination teaches us that there is no unhappiness too great to be made better. Opening ourselves up to the miracles of recovery, we step from the dark of negativity into the light of possibility and abundance. It doesn’t happen all at once, but it does happen – one day at a time.”

Harnessing Fear in the New Year

“Normal fear protects us; abnormal fear paralyses us. Normal fear motivates us to improve our individual and collective welfare; abnormal fear constantly poisons and distorts our inner lives. Our problem is not to be rid of fear but, rather to harness and master it.” Martin Luther King Jr.


Happy New Year!! As you can likely tell, I’m slowly inching into this new year. I’m just getting to my first post and I’m excited to say that gifts are being mailed out to the NavigatingVita contest winners next week!!

This first month of 2012 has been filled with many surprises so far. Not all good, but I’m learning a lot about myself and others. I wanted to write this first post of the year about Fear and its power to paralyze and keep us from being present and living the lives we are meant to lead. It’s not a coincidence that so many women going through divorce vent via support groups or with friends about receiving threatening texts and phone calls from Exs over a myriad of issues with control at the heart of each. Being able to rise above the noise, determine whether or not it is a real threat, and then harness your fear, is a liberating endeavor. I, by no means, have any answers, but I think for most of our issues  we, intuitively are our best guides. Blocking out the noise of chatter; stopping our minds from obsessing on all the what ifs; and avoiding talk with friends who may plunge you further in fear; are all good ideas.

Sometimes it’s hard to know when fear is really merited, isn’t it? I’m currently dealing with a disturbing event. Although I can’t discuss it at the moment, I can discuss how I’m mentally dealing with the fear. I’ve found a spiritual counselor and with meditation I’m learning to listen to my inner voice. I’m avoiding chatting with too many people about it as their ‘advice’ could spiral me further into fear. And even though there are wrongs that my ego would like to right, I’m learning to let it go. Sometimes the best reaction to a volley, is to let the ball bounce off the court and to move on. It’s been two and a half years, I’m tired of volleying.

For the record, as I move into my next phase, I just want to reiterate that NavigatingVita is a place of inspiration for myself and other single or divorcing parents. My goal is to find ways for us to explore our daily struggles and the important issues of our lives—while striving to remain positive and to focus on moving forward in a loving way.

I know a lot of you who are going through divorce may have become paralyzed at one point or another by the fear that I’ve discussed. Focussing on all the fearful issues will only keep them in front of you and you’ll chase them like a dog chases his tail round and round. Plus, it plunges you into a victim role.

Because again, the more you focus on it, the worse it gets. The better focus is on ourselves. Of course, if you’re battling real issues with abuse or neglect, harness the fear and deal with it calmly with your attorney. But for the most of us, we need to take a time out, and focus on ourselves.

I hope you’re motivated to take that time out with me. This new year is going to be a great one for us all!

Lots of love,

Laura