Category Archives: spirituality

What If, dear friend, struggle ends NOW.

EdvardMunch,TheScream

Edvard Munch, “The Scream”

What If, you lived with ease and acceptance due to your belief that we are all eternal and are ALL reflections of God’s love, God’s light, on our physical journey back to Source.

What If, you believed, as Christ taught us (Gandhi, Martin Luther King, too) that when someone hurts you, he is hurting himself, because we are all ONE. And if we are all ONE— but some of us have forgotten and are behaving badly and hurting themselves (as they hurt us)—our belief in this truth will urge us to try to do as we are taught: to forgive them, as Christ forgave those who tortured Him on the cross saying: “they know not what they do.”

What If, every time you thought (or said) a resentful, hateful, angry, revengeful, complaining, bitter thought (or word) about someone else, (or about some unloving ‘truth’ you have made up for yourself, for your life) you stopped, and reminded yourself, this is just a thought. I can think something else.

What If, after you see that thoughts can be changed, you looked deeper, with compassion, about the thoughts that flow unchecked. Where do they come from? They are not my struggle, you say. These are just thoughts. They do not reflect your reality, or your world, or the prospect of a dismal future, or your, or anyone’s, ability.

What If you say to yourself these are just thoughts I am thinking, because I have become comfortable thinking them, and perhaps they were aimed at defining, or controlling, my world. You will see they were not productive, nor true. These thoughts will manifest exactly as you think they will, if you do not change them. For instance, thoughts like: I don’t make enough money. I should be further along by now. He’s a narcissist and will always behave this way. He tricked me into marrying him. What if I marry another narcissist? I can’t lose weight. This is how it will go, it will take a long time to heal. I’m not ready. She’s so negative, but I love her anyway. I can’t afford it. It will take two years, or more, to work off my debt. These negative thoughts can be changed, in order to change reality. Because reality is what you think it is. If thoughts are not changed, then you are right about every thought you share. But I do not want to be a co-conspirator with you as I listen. Because I believe you are loved infinitely. You are beautiful. You were hurt by someone who loves you so much, he agreed to come into this lifetime with you so you can both work out karmic lessons with each other. It is beautiful. You are exactly where you are meant to be. Miracles happen every day, why not today? A perfect job, the perfect client, they can all come in an instant. These are the thoughts I think when I listen to you, but I can not tell them to you, you are not ready. But if I sit and listen, I am co-conspiring to create more struggle for you. I do not wish to do this anymore.

What If, every time you had a negative thought, like when you get angry about what your Ex did, or about the money in your banking account, or about ‘where you aught to be in life,’ you stopped yourself and took a deep breath and said, ‘thank you God for letting me pause. Thank you God for letting me see these are just negative thoughts. They are not me. They are just thoughts. And these thoughts stem from programming from childhood, from fear, from anger, from a need to control, from comparison to others, from a lack of trust in the Universe and in You. Thank you God for being there for me. Thank you God for helping me shape my reality as I am pure Source Energy, pure Source Light and I want to let go of these negative thoughts manifesting more struggle, so that I can flow with love and grace into a loving, safe, secure present moment. Because in the present moment. All is well. And if it is not, I give it to you, God. Please take the pain and help me see what it is I am to learn to be free of negativity.’

What If, when you notice your resistance to what I am saying, you stop, you pause, take two deep breaths in, and two deeper breaths out. Listen carefully to what I am saying, even though I have drifted from you. I love you. God loves you. Your guides love you. Everything that has happened to you, is a part of your journey to wholeness. You say you understand, but then you are still angry. Still, you say, I am trying to heal and it will take a very long time. I know that I am not making enough money and I know that I can’t do bla bla bla. These are thoughts. Please take a deep breath, surrender, meditate in child’s pose and ask God to lift this hold on a dark reality that you are keeping close to you through these thoughts.

What If, it doesn’t take years and years to ‘recover and heal.’

What If, healing, or rebounding, takes a moment. Like a door opening, bathing you in God’s Light, that you walk though, and then the door of your past reality closes behind you.

What If, healing merely takes the knowledge that you are not alone. That you are eternal.

What If, healing requires the acknowledgement that no one hurt you without your permission, or without you signing up for the lesson on your spiritual journey before entering this physical plain. NO, none of us want to be lied to, betrayed, etc. But there are factors at work in the Universe and things that occurred before we entered our physical bodies, that created a network of karmic events we have chosen to live, breathe through. Can you trust that? If not, can you trust God?

What If you meditated every day and listened for your guides, your intuition, to help you?

What If you read every day for 15-30 minutes from one of the masters: (even if you read them years ago) Bhagavad Gita; A Course in Miracles; anything by: Wayne Dyer, Melodie Beattie, Ram Dass, Eckhardt Tolle, Deepak Chopra, Louise Hay.

What If, you began to look in the mirror and say to yourself: I love you. I love you so much. I am safe. I am happy. I love and approve of you and you deserve love, acceptance, abundance, health, vitality. Everything is working out for my highest good. I am abundant. I am supported. Joy flows through my veins with every beat of my heart. Thank you. Thank you so much for letting me shift my thoughts and shift my reality.

What If, you prayed, saying: I know I am not merely flesh and bones. I am eternal. I don’t know why I was hurt, but the teachers are eternal too. Let me not think bad thoughts about them, or say bad things about them, (hurting myself more in the process). Let me become grateful for the lessons. I know YOU are here to help me. Please help me trust the process. Help me find my dharma to fulfill my highest purpose that serves you. Help lift me out of the survival struggle that no one on Earth is meant to live in. I am willing to see the guides, the opportunities, the miracles as they present themselves to me. I am willing to be a vehicle for your love.

What If, you began to drop the story of you needing to heal.

What If, you believed that you are already healed, through God’s love.

What If, you played disco and danced, in your house, alone, once a week to lift your vibration.

What If, you went to yoga or walked four times a week.

What If, you gave up fast food and soda.

What If, the struggle ends today. Right NOW. With the very thought that it is over in this present moment.

I write this dear friend to you, and as a reminder to myself. It is one thing to acknowledge these truths, and it is another to live with them near and dear to your heart. Whenever I am off track, I will remember that today, I can begin again. And in this present moment, nothing from the past can hurt me. All is well.

And I love you.

L. x

 

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Goodbye NV Hello Laura K Roe

paulocoelhogoodbey

I started NavigtingVita after spending part of a summer in Tuscany—my first break in nearly two years from single parenting. My mother, who lived far away, was dying from early-onset Alzheimer’s, and my soon-to-be ex-husband was off in London. I was taking care of our three-year-old and nine-year-old solo, and trying not to fall apart. This was my venture back into blogging, after helping launch and edit for RealGirlsMedia, a San Francisco-based women’s blogging venture. And, being a journalist for so many years, I missed the writing. I interviewed parenting and divorce experts, authors of all kinds, psychologists, single mom business executives. I landed spots on Dr. Drew’s Lifechanger’s Show, as well HuffPost regarding parenting. This site began as a way to navigate through divorce and full time single parenting with a sense of humor, and ideally, with some grace. Ten years later, I am still a full-time single parent of a 10-year-old & a 17-year-old. But it is not how I define myself. I am also a freelance journalist and author of three novels, my 4th on its way. My 600 hours of yoga teacher training has helped me breathe, find peace and acceptance with my life, give up drinking, and keep writing my novels. This is how I see my future: writing, yoga, and travel. I’m excited about my yoga & writers retreat in Tuscany May 2020! (DM me, or go to yogainitaly.com to sign up!) AND, that my novel Between Thoughts of You is being considered for publication by the publishing house of my dreams. 🙂 What I’ve learned, however, is that the journey is really the reward. I love diving into characters, finding strength and wisdom in their adventures and choices, and love the connective awareness I feel when someone else whispers their thoughts into my mind, that finds its way to the pages.  I’m never alone when I write. It’s a miraculous feeling. What I know for sure, is that I will keep writing novels, and they will be self-published if the right publishing house doesn’t emerge. It’s what I do. And I want to help other writers find their way past fear to keep on writing too—what breath, meditation, and yoga has helped me to do. It’s a humbling process to keep going, while accepting my own limitations. In order to get better as a writer, I have to keep writing and find the space to do so. With that in mind, next year I am moving to Maui! I have found a boarding school there with a science and math focus to help my brilliant son. I will live close by and see him every day when I’m in town, but will also be able to travel to promote my books when I need to do so. Single parents have to find solutions that work to allow them to focus on, and expand their careers. It’s a delicate balancing act that I’m finally giving myself permission to pursue. I’m excited about this next venture. AND the yoga & writers retreats I’ll be sure to host in Maui! 🙂

 

SO…with my focus solely on writing and on yoga & writers retreats, I have decided to take back my original byline and maiden name: Laura K Roe. Navigating Vita will disappear in a few weeks time. Please visit LauraKRoe.com to find excerpts of my novels, travel schedule, and yoga & writers retreat and workshop information.

 

Thank you so much for reading my words and being a part of this miraculous journey.

 

Love  & Light,

 

Laura x

B.T.W. Yoga & Writers Retreats

 

 

 

 

sunflowers

B.T.W. (Breathe. Travel. Write.) Yoga & Writer’s Retreats may just be what you need to get inspired! I’m excited to announce my next retreat: May 23-30, 2020 in Tuscany, co-led with Literary Agent and Author Paula Munier. Retreat location is near Lucca and Cinque Terre at the estate Il Borhino. Interested? We have 18 spots. Send me a note and I’ll provide pricing details. You have plenty of time to save miles for a flight! After an initial deposit, payment plans are possible for this intimate retreat that includes daily yoga classes, all meals (vegan & gluten-free on request), writing and publishing workshops, as well as the opportunity for consultations and chapter reviews. Lets do this. You are worth it. XO

CinqueTerre

Explore.

Lucca

Dream.

costaricawaterwriter

Create.

outsideyoga

Breathe.

indulge

 

 

 

Savor.

poolrelax

Relax.

writerworkshops

Support.

 

… So, what are you waiting for? Hope to see you soon! 🙂

Ciao,

Laura x

Strength is the new Beautiful

cracks

I snapped this picture three years ago when hiking up Machu Picchu. It’s just like me to stoop down and notice ferns peaking up out of weathered, ancient stones that are stomped on by thousands of tourists. The baby ferns growing between the cracks get stepped on daily by hundreds of people clad in hiking boots as they race up to the top to see ‘the vista’ everyone comes to Machu Picchu for. Yet the ferns continue to grow, like a gift of forgiveness to those who crush them. Cracks are beautiful. And people who show their cracks to the world are a blessing for those of us who try to hide our own.

I shot pictures of wild orchids peaking out from dead tree branches too. I’m obsessed with fragile beauty. It is vulnerable. It is hopeful. It is a living example of gentle strength that I hope to embody.

orchidmp2

An orchid blooming from a downed tree branch, is surviving—and blooming—against staggering odds. It encourages me to try to bloom where I am right now, no matter the circumstances, no matter how many times I have failed in the past, no matter the risks. To continue to bloom for a short, trying period, is an expression of gratitude for this tenuous life. It humbles me to see it. After failure or rejection, I tend to bury myself in my covers for days. I want to hide from the world. But to hide is a form of shame or fear. I can’t be seen if I hide. I can’t be rejected either. I may be safe, but I can not let you see me. There is no way you can see my flaws, or feel my love, or understand my fears, or even read my writing for that matter. Nor can I experience you, if I hide where you can’t find me.

So even though I’d rather not emerge in an authentic way—I’d rather not take the risk of failure or rejection—I will remember what nature teaches me. Every attempt to grow, to bloom, to show up, to keep going, is an act of faith, and love, and gratitude. If I can accept my cracks, and my fragile life exactly as it is right now, beautiful things may begin to emerge beneath the surface—that were likely there within me all along.

Keep going friends. And please encourage those who are striving despite the odds. Love those who show up in your life who are vulnerable and who reveal their imperfections. They are the ones who will accept you, as you are, and give your heart wings.

Love & Light,

Laura xo

 

 

 

The Journey to Love

skandosina

“This is love: to fly toward a secret sky, to cause a hundred veils to fall each moment. First to let go of life. Finally, to take a step without feet.” ~ Rumi

 

“Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.” ~ Melody Beattie

 

“Beauty without Grace, is the hook without the bait. ” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

“The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are strong at the broken places.” ~ Ernest Hemingway

 

“Forgiveness is not always easy. At times, it feels more painful than the wound we suffered, to forgive the one that inflicted it. And yet, there is no peace without forgiveness.” ~ Marianne Williamson

 

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Please note my new yoga teaching schedule changes:

Mondays:
* 6 a.m. 1 HR Hot Yoga, Beyond Bikram Hermosa Beach
* 4:15 p.m. Yin/Yang (part restorative, part balance/ Iyengar, non-heated, all levels, seniors encouraged. Malaga Cove, Rancho Palos Verdes (dm me if interested)
* 6:15 p.m. Pre-natal Torrance Memorial Medical Center, near ER. (dm me if interested, recurring 8 week series, however, drop-in upon request.)

Tuesdays:
6:30 p.m. 1 HR Hot Yoga, Beyond Bikram Hermosa Beach

Please check BeyondBikram.com schedule, as I sub many Wed. & Fri. 6 a.m. classes, as well as weekend. Wed. – Friday are now committed writing days for me.

Have a blessed week,

Laura xo

 

Yoga + Meditation + Gratitude = Longer, Healthier Life.

Pulse

 

Here is my latest cover article for Pulse Magazine. I write for a lot of magazines, so why am I posting this one on my blog? Because it is for a traditional hospital publication. It reiterates what I’ve known for a long time. There is now NO doubt that yoga, meditation and a gratitude practice lengthens life, improves health, boosts mental outlook, and reduces pain and the intensity of disease. I love when I get the chance to write, research, and interview experts on topics I’m passionate about. I began doing yoga and meditating more than 10 years ago due to a bad back, a nasty divorce, and the stress of rearing a baby and a young son solo. The journey has helped me battle auto-immune disease and dark moments. I have taken multiple yoga trainings and now teach, while also free-lance writing. My life is more positive. I feel joy on the daily. I am more patient and more present with my boys. And I see how much yoga has helped my yoga students who are in pain from cancer or arthritis or injuries.

Now physicians and scientists in the West confirm what I have felt and seen through many studies conducted at Harvard, the Centers for Disease Control, UCLA and elsewhere. Some studies showed how meditation and a gratitude practice helped to reduce cancer tumors and/ or the intensity of pain and side-effects from cancer treatments such as chemo or radiation. Other studies showed an increase in memory from meditation. Others showed how meditation, especially, increased the capacity for joy and reduced depression.

 

One day I envision an America where therapeutic yoga and meditation classes will be a standard benefit offered within corporations and covered by medical insurance policies. Lowering stress means reducing toxic cortisol and glucagon hormones within the body. It is widely accepted within western medicine that cancer grows within acidic environments. It is also known that a flush in cortisol, (that happens when individuals are stressed or anxious or angry) causes the gut to not thoroughly digest vitamins and nutrients correctly. This flush of cortisol also tightens connective tissue which reduces the flow of our lymph system and makes us more vulnerable to the flu. Stress also increases inflammation, ramps up blood pressure, creates tension headaches, muscle spasms and even increases the chance of stroke and heart beat irregularity. Taking preventative care of ourselves ought to be a primary concern—and not just for the privileged and wealthy in this country. I’m glad to know that yoga and meditation is now taught at reduced rates in hospitals (where I also teach) and community centers, as yoga studios can charge high rates. Most yoga studios, however, will also offer low-fee community classes once a week, which I highly encourage people to try.

Here’s to a low stress and blessed week.

Namaste ~

Laura

 

Embracing the Divine Feminine within a #metoo & Hookup World

athena

Can we as women embrace the divine feminine within, while also demand to be taken seriously as an intellectual equal of strength and character? Most of my female friends will say, “Hell yes.” But I’m not so sure that my male friends will agree (amongst each other). A woman in a bikini who looks sexy, is also a person who may write articles for the New York Times, or creates legal briefs, or who rocks a baby to sleep. She is a person of infinite depth and has found a way to embrace her health, vitality and beauty, without negating her intellect, strength, and roles within family and society. It’s a delicate balancing act. Just because we want to be taken seriously, doesn’t mean we have to hide our beauty. It is not our fault that desire creates a beast within some men. That’s like saying a girl deserved to be raped if she wore a short skirt. Yet, somehow, I still feel that it is our duty, as women, not to feed that beast and to refrain from behavior that spurs affairs and/or abuse.

 

I’ve been thinking a lot about this. It is wonderful to feel sexy, healthy, vital, energetic—at any age. I also know that whenever I post a picture in a sexy yoga pose, the men who ‘like’ the picture aren’t necessarily reading the Rumi quote or noting my yoga class schedule below it. Right? Women feed into the objectification that is rampant. We do. But that doesn’t mean we deserve to be lied to, cheated on, manipulated, or God forbid, drugged and date-raped. There’s a huge leap in the male thinking brain from: she’s hot, to: I can, and am entitled, to use her as a physical toy and throw her away after. A good friend of mine told me yesterday that her first date after her divorce resulted in being rooffied. She woke up in her ‘date’s bed, not remembering a thing. She had only had one glass of wine at the restaurant. LORD. She’s in her fifties. This sort of thing happened a lot during my college years and my graduate school years in New York. I heard stories from friends often and I once ended up in the hospital after someone roofied me. Luckily, I wasn’t raped, but I passed out, hit my head in a restaurant bathroom and the cops were called.

I am taking a big sigh as I write this.

Have we not evolved?

I want my nieces to grow up into strong, self-confident, independent women who unabashedly embrace their sense of beauty and vitality. Just because many men want to hook up and treat beautiful women like objects, doesn’t mean we have to hide and cover up either. We just need to be smart, stay alert, and not drink during first dates or put ourselves knowingly into harms way. (See my interview  with Pat Allen, relationship expert, best-selling author of Getting to I DO and expert on Millionaire Matchmaker)

 

Pat, who was actually my therapist during my ex-husband’s affair, has been saying for years, what DeVon Franklin re-iterates in his new book The Truth About Men. That is, that men are not wired for monogamy. They have a lust problem. Not all men cheat, clearly, but all wrestle with desire, even when in love with their wives. Their lust struggle doesn’t go away. DeVon refers to male lust as “the Dog.” And in his book, lust is about power, as much as it is about female conquest. If a man can commit to his profession full-heartedly, he can commit to a woman and family, he explains. Society and the lack of good male or father figure role models, makes is easy for successful men, especially, to not look in the mirror and to continue to indulge the dog, even within committed relationships. An interesting side-note, men who cheat, according to DeVon, are those who were abandoned by fathers or had poor relationships with fathers. Women who cheat, however, typically have put up with too much abuse or neglect and leave a relationship. Men who cheat, are often not in bad relationships at all. Hmmm…So how, as women, do we navigate that one or the fear that it instills when we begin a new relationship?

 

Well, I don’t have an answer. I do know that really good men cheat and feel horrible about it after. But it breaks my heart when women, who have been cheated on, or lied to, ghosted, or made to feel lesser than by a man in their life, take it personally, by thinking they somehow aren’t worthy, deserving, or sexy, etc. And some men, justifying their bad treatment of women, can say horrible things. I know. I heard them, to the point that I believed that I wasn’t sexy or beautiful during my divorce. Yoga and my yoga trainings saved me and helped me to embrace my physicality as well as my spirituality and get back into my writing. I shifted gears and stopped worrying about what was said or done. I’ve since let that shit go. I don’t need to prove anything, but I do want to feel good for myself and remain vital, healthy, so I can be a strong single mom for my boys.

I adore Reese Witherspoon, my fellow southerner, who is strong, and beautiful and calls into question just what a powerful businesswoman is supposed to look like. When I was in college I heard a lot folks saying I was the character from Legally Blond. I covered the legal beat at the Red and Black newspaper at the University of Georgia. I was in a sorority, had long blond hair, wore make up, yet still wrote essays and interviewed supreme court judges for public radio and slept on the streets with the homeless during campaigns to effect change. Why not? What rules in society exist that stipulates that in order to be strong, intelligent and successful as a woman, you can’t wear sundresses, or make up? Or be sexy, and spiritual for that matter. Honestly.

This is what I want to say to my adorable nieces, and to my boys who I pray grow into men of character: respect the light within each person you encounter. If you treat others with dignity—and that means yourself as well—you will hopefully, never be in a situation that makes you feel less then, entitled to take advantage, or used. Communicate honestly, girls, by asking the man in your life what his intentions are. Don’t assume he’s committed. Don’t drink too much and put yourself into sticky situations where others can gain control. And, boys, if you see or hear something, like a fraternity brother bragging about date raping, or drugging a girl, stand up, like a man with character, and turn him in or challenge him. Think of your beautiful cousins and the daughters you may have one day. And don’t drink too much, as that can entitle the dog to bark, as DeVon says.

Friends, chime in. What are your thoughts?

Love & Light,
Laura x

Yoga for Writers Workshops

 

Forgive the ‘you knows’! Clearly, this was a one take job, lol. I’m a writer for a reason. I’ll need to practice before public speaking! California writers, for more information about my yoga for writers workshops held monthly, please send me a note. In these workshops, we do not read from our material, nor do we critique each other’s work. We start with a 30 minute gentle, non-heated flow that incorporates kundalini, hatha, breath work—all at a beginner level—designed to let go of fear and to level our energies so we can talk together more productively. We can then share tips regarding pitch letters, queries, proposals, synopsis writing, contests, agent responses (or rejections, part of life) and strategies to find time to write every day—especially important for those of us who have children and busy day jobs. We come together for support. IF two people connect and want to review each others writing, they can swap emails after. Workshop costs cover the rental fee for the studio, btw, so typically $15/each. Email me for more information: laura.roe.stevens@gmail.com.

 

Have a blessed day! Laura

Jodi Picoult’s Occult Mystery

Occult: adj: “of involving, or relating to supernatural, mystical, or magical powers or phenomena.”

 

Jodi Picoult’s 23rd novel Leaving Time, is surprisingly so much more than a moving saga about grief, loss of a mother, and the wonderful world of elephants. I just finished reading this nearly over-whelming book, even as her next block buster debut’s this week. Leaving Time has haunted me for a week since I completed it. Not just because it confirms what I’ve always considered: that elephants live more dignified, loving lives within families who protect and support one another. Or that love lasts beyond time and space, so when we lose someone we love, the love survives. But what intrigues me most, as a writer, is how Jodi interweaved the occult within the fabric of this mystery in a way that slips the unassuming reader—the reader who would not normally read a book with paranormal aspects—into the thick of the drama. Not until the very end do we learn that two of the main characters are, in fact, dead and were the entire manuscript. We are left questioning the dimension in which they lived, one where the dead continue living a bustling life which contains a world with school, family, binging, boozy nights, dating, money problems, work issues, rent to be paid, etc. It’s a dimension where it’s possible they (and everyone within it) don’t realize they are dead, and they don’t have all the answers, nor the ability to find the people they love. The notion that we die and all the answers are revealed, is turned on its head. The common held belief that our dead loved ones are a thought away, is also dismissed, as 13-year-old Jenna, the main character, searches for her mother Alice Metcalf, a scientist who studies elephant behavior. Jenna hires a broke, formerly-famous psychic named Serenity, and a washed-up, pessimistic, alcoholic detective, Virgil, to help her find Alice. In the end, we learn that Virgil and Jenna are both dead (as well as everyone else they connected with, such as Jenna’s grandmother, a policeman, a lab assistant). Yet, they all seemed to lead vibrant lives with other people in them, bars to go to, cars to drive, policemen to talk with, school teachers, clients, landlords, etc. But apparently their world must lie on another plane of reality, like fine line of ice below the surface of our perception, that somehow, Serenity can see. But even Serenity doesn’t realize Jenna and Virgil aren’t alive, until the very end.

 

Most of Jodi’s interviews about Leaving Time concern the plight of elephants, how they grieve, and how wonderful a metaphor their ability to grieve, is, to her then first empty nest at home. She doesn’t say what motivated her to create such a walloping metaphysical surprise at the end. Stories of the elephants are woven into the book via Alice Metcalf’s notes, that Jenna reads. Alice is a researcher who has lived in Africa, as well as on a New England sanctuary with her husband and then three-year-old daughter Jenna, when she disappeared after a tragic accident leaving one person dead and one mentally insane. Jenna, who was three at the time of the accident, can’t remember what happened and had to be raised by her stoic grandmother. This story alone, is compelling enough to be a best-seller with all the ups and downs of who actually got killed and who slipped away and why. And the glimpse into the world of the elephants and how they are tragically being hurt by poachers, is critical for the world to understand. See this video for example.

What I find ultimately puzzling, is how Jodi manages to pull together so many subplots and themes into one novel, without losing me at any turn. She tackles the occult and afterlife, the plight of elephants, a murder, mental illness, spousal abuse, infidelity, suicide, mother-daughter and grandmother friction, the struggle to follow ones dreams as a mother, and a daughter’s unfailing love for her mother, and the huge emotional and unbearable loss a child endures when a parent abandons them.

It’s a beautiful novel. It’s powerful. It’s unlike any other I have read. Jodi Picoult is only getting better with each novel. You need to read it.

And with a side note to my fellow writers, isn’t it remarkable to think that Jodi Picoult, New York Times best selling author (whose last nine novels debuted number one on this prestigious list) was rejected by 100 agents before one believed in her?

Keep going my friends. And read her book for inspiration!

#enough.

My Dear Neighbor:

I do not know you. But I do know one thing. You are NOT physically OK like the police report stated. Not just after what you went through. After your body heals, you are not going to be mentally or spiritually OK for a long time either. My heart goes out to you. The clean-cut, nicely dressed stranger, who brazenly walked into your front door on Sunday afternoon and raped you, is sick. And he may attack others. The sheer audacity of a man to walk into your front door, on a Sunday, and then just walk out the front door after the attack, is terrifying. I imagine that you will re-play that horrific experience over and over again every time you come back home. The violation; the brazen lack of fear; the violence; the planning that likely went into it.

This man may have walked away free, and may not think much about it later—but you, my dear neighbor, will likely never forget it. You are changed forever. I wish I could say that you’ll be fine. I wish I could say that you won’t have nightmares, or that you won’t get up in the middle of the night and check your locks repeatedly. I wish I could say that you’ll soon feel sexy and free and trusting again. But it will take time. And there will be flash backs.

Your friends, who you dare to tell, may not show up for you, as rape is a subject no one is comfortable with. Even the most ‘spiritual’ of your friends may forget about it a few months from now because they don’t want to think about it. You will likely avoid them, or avoid taking ubers home alone, or avoid walking into your house alone for years. Forgive your friends for not checking in six months from now when you become paralyzed and debilitated with fear. No one wants to think about rape, or the world-shattering effects it has on a person’s life.

But we need to think about it. And we need to care more. Rape is an epidemic in our country. Every 98 seconds a woman is sexually assaulted in America, according to RAINN.org. One in every six American women has either been raped, or been a victim of an attempted rape. It’s mind-blowing. It’s shocking. It’s disgusting.

My neighbor, you may feel overwhelmed, angry, helpless and hopeless. Move through all the feelings, get help from a therapist, and then fight your way back to hope again.

All men are not like this man. And even though it can seem like we women are now surrounded by misogynistic and degrading men everywhere we turn— from our president, to our favorite talk show hosts. But not all men hate women. You will feel safe in your house again. Maybe you’ll get a dog who will charge down anyone who tries to enter—like mine did—saving me from a home invasion 15 years ago.

Just know this, dear neighbor: love exists, even in the broken places.

You will laugh again.

You will get stronger.

You will love again.

You will heal.

You will not always be scared.

If you ever read this blog and want to find me, my doors and arms are open, and I will listen to you any day, any time.

Now to the pathetic excuse of a man who attacked you:

Rape is an attack of a person’s soul. In my eyes, what you did is the same as attempted murder. You tried to murder this woman’s life as it once existed.

You may have gotten away with it this time, but Karma is a Bitch. 

Maybe, as Marianne Williamson says, love is the only thing that is real, and all violence is an illusion—but I see you. I see you right now lingering in your dark, shadow vibration that wants to, and feels entitled to, hurt others. And I know deep down that you see your worthless and disgusting behavior for what it is.

You will not get away with this in the long run. No matter how many others you attack. You will get caught. And when you die, I pray that you will have to re-live this moment and any others. I pray that somehow, someway, the angels and spirit guides for all the women you have attacked, will show you just what rape feels like—from the inside out. You will feel and see their fear, their pain, their tears, as your own. Isn’t that what ‘One Love’ is all about? See, I’m one of those southern yogis who believes that the Holy Spirit moves powerfully within the flow of Universal forces that steer us in the direction of love. And love isn’t just an ethereal feeling. To love is to try to understand, and to care, and to be kind, and to empathize and to hold yourself accountable and to make amends when you don’t treat others, as you would have yourself be treated.

You will, one day, truly understand what you have done. You cannot fool God. As you sow, so shall you reap. I pray that you will be personally guided closely toward that conscious light of love. I pray that you will be steered up-close and thrust within its blinding light.

Can you feel it burning?

You will.