Asthma Attack

This morning, at 7:45, I had an asthma attack in front of my boys. Talk about vulnerability and panic crashing over me in waves. I was standing over the oven, cooking pancakes, and slowly started having difficulty breathing. I haven’t had an asthma attack in four or five years, so I brushed it off. Then the constrictions seized my chest, my heart is pumping overtime, I’m dizzy and then I crumbled to the floor. My poor 3-year-old, who has asthma, came over to me. I raised my arm and whispered, “Mommy isn’t breathing so well.” He ran to his older brother down stairs and told him to get his “breathing machine” aka nebulizer down. By that time, I literally couldn’t get up. It was so scary. My two boys helped me put the nebulizer with the elephant mask for kids, over my face. Within 20 minutes, I was able to drive William to school. Now home with my younger, I’ve had two more treatments, am still shaking a bit, and realize how lucky I am.

When I lived in London I saw an acupuncturist each week and she got me so healthy that I’m convinced she is the reason why I have Jamesy today. She also put me on mushroom pills for my immune system. Time to go back on them now. Too bad acupuncture is so expensive in this country. I guess it’s time to see a specialist again and get loaded on all the meds, inhalers, etc. that I’ll need before I lose health insurance when the divorce is final. Why is it that moms can’t stay on an ex’s insurance if she is the sole care-taker of their children? I mean, if mommy is sick, who takes care of the little guys? Well, this is a wake up call. Time to take care of myself.

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